Can u please use the comment and reply of the professor then improve it ?
here are some comment from my professor
Would you be willing to revise and re-submit your Problem Analysis report with complete and accurate documentation in the proper APA format? If so, I would be willing to re-grade it. You would need to email me the revised version before the end of the day on Tuesday. Would you be willing to do this? Just let me know.
If you have questions about how to provide parenthetical references in the APA documentation style, please ask me or refer to the APA section of Purdue’s Online Writing Lab.
Thank you for sending me your Problem Analysis report. I have attached a file containing your report and my comments in red. Please heed my comments and the assignment instructions and examples as you revise. Did you submit a draft to SVSU’s online Writing Center?
In your bibliography, you put that you retrieved some of your sources in November of 2017. Are you trying to submit a report that you or someone else wrote last year? If you retrieved the sources this month, then put “Retrieved June 2018 from. . . .”
Some of your sources are not properly documented. In some paragraphs, you clearly are drawing figures and statistics from published sources–but in some cases you have not used parenthetical references to identify the source or sources of the information.
In some sections of your report, you quote passages word-for-word from your sources without using quotation marks. You should use quotation marks and parenthetical references to identify direct quotes. Otherwise, you are plagiarizing, which can result in you receiving no credit for the assignment. Any time that you quote something word-for-word, you should enclose it in quotations marks and place a parenthetical reference after it identifying that author’s last name and the publication year. Please see my comments in the attached file. Also, please refer to the APA section of Purdue’s Online Writing Lab.
If you have questions, please let me know.
|The document format may not be able to display the chart I’m looking for, but the PDF format is visible, which is why the document format may have large white space. Two intermediate charts are attached.||Rui Wang, Jun 16 at 7:15pm|
|Hi , Thank you for submitting your Problem Analysis report. You analyze a range of causes and effects of this problem. Don’t focus on the solution in your Problem Analysis. You will propose a solution and a project plan in your Proposal. Pay attention to word choice, grammar, and sentence structure. Errors make parts of your report a bit hard to follow. Be sure to provide effective transitions and topic sentences for your paragraphs. Introduce your quotes by identifying the source. Try to avoid using long block quotes. Use short quotes, paraphrases, and summaries instead. Some of your information is not properly documented. Please see the comments that I wrote in your Problem Analysis report. Sincerely|
1 day ago