these are the teachers notes, please follow all of them and stick bu them. Make revisions per her request and please wstick to the guidelines
You have a good start here! As you revise, pay close attention to the following points:
1. Your supporting body paragraphs need to begin with subclaims. Subclaims are mini-arguments of your own that support your thesis; they’re the reasons you’re arguing the way you are on the topic. Try not to begin body paragraphs with summaries of authors’ points
2. It’s really important to fully introduce your sources in your paragraphs. So, after you have a subclaim, if you are introducing a new article, you need to have the following: 1) author’s full name, 2) title of the article, 3) overview of what the article is about and the author’s main argument. Then maybe incorporate a quote from the text so that you can analyze it in support of your claim? By the way, when you introduce a text, you don’t just list the title and author in a weird string of info–you have to write it into a regular sentence. Here’s an example: In the article “Juvenile Justice,” author Kay Smith argues that since teenagers’ brains are not fully developed, they do not possess full, rational control over their behavior. Smith writes, “blah blah blah some important quote” (3). Smith’s point here is that this difference in juvenile’s brains makes them fundamentally different from adults, and therefore not subject to the same . . . you get the point. Please follow a model like that to fully introduce your texts!!3. I noticed that you need to set up your counterargument and refutation with signaling language. Take a look at the lesson on counterarguments (or the handout) for examples of this. Language like “Some people argue” or, “In opposition, critics suggest that . . ” will help your reader understand that it’s the counter. Then, in that paragraph, when you’re ready to refute that claim, using language like “However, this position fails to account for . . ” or “One problem with the logic of this argument is XX.” That will signal to your readers that you’re refuting, or offering a rebuttal to the counter that you just laid out.